Likeability is a core value in getting hired as well as attracting new hires
It does not take a rocket scientist to tell us that being liked is an important factor for life success; both at work and at home. To a degree, we probably know that when a person is likeable their chances rapidly increase for attaining personal power, getting hired, retained, promoted, and becoming successful leaders; provided they are talented and have the necessary competencies. Studies clearly show that likeable people often have fulfilling marriages, gain friends quickly, provide effective parenting, and enjoy a cadre of rewarding social relationships.
In contrast, unlikable people have more difficulty getting hired, promoted, gaining new friends, and retaining significant others. Leadership studies show that unlikable leaders are often challenged to inspire and engage their employees, attract and retain new employees, and to enjoy the trust and confidence of those they try to lead. Successful and profitable business outcomes can be compromised by unlikable leaders.
Many of us remember Dale Carnegie, who years ago made a big point when he told us that developing likeability allows us to influence others and to be successful in all walks of life. In his book How to Win Friends & Influence People Carnegie noted that “there is only one way to get anybody to do anything, and that is by making the other person want to do it—remember, there is no other way.”
Every person can make a decision to improve their emotional attractiveness. We know that being likeable is not an accident of birth. It is a skill that needs development and nurturing. It requires work just like physical fitness. Likeability also requires that we step outside ourselves, listen to the tone of our voice, observe our style of dealing with others, listen to feedback from others, and gauge our effectiveness in influencing others.
“Get Liked” is a word of advice often given to those going on job interviews. After all, if an applicant is not liked, the chances for further steps in the process dramatically decrease. Just as importantly, the hiring person or leader must “get liked.” With increasing competition for talent, managers and leaders need to be likeable to attract, retain, and grow employees.
Some people do not believe in developing likeability and they do not want to change. They perceive likeability as a sign of weakness or softness. Yet, Tim Sanders, author of The Likeability Factor (Three Rivers, 2006), states that un-likeability is no longer an option in today’s work world. He notes that we have become long-term thinkers because it is necessary for survival. Our actions today have consequences for tomorrow. Can we afford to have unlikable people on the payroll?
“Being negative or unlikable is akin to polluting the workplace and forcing others to ingest harmful pollutants,” says Sanders. Often, it only takes one negative person to cause another to consider leaving. The future, for all of us, is in likeability.
Recently, Tim Sanders spoke at a Grand Rapids, Michigan Chamber of Commerce meeting. He said,
"Likeability is not telling people what they want to hear. It’s not avoiding conflict if conflict needs to happen. It’s not about smiling when you’re stabbed. Your likeability reflects your capacity to consistently produce positive emotional experiences in the lives of other people—room in your life for other people’s feelings, room in your life for other people’s success."
In his book, Sanders defines likeability as “The ability to create positive attitudes in other people through the delivery of emotional and physical benefits.”
Literature about effective leadership contains overwhelming information related to the Likeability Factor. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, co-author of Primal Leadership and the soon to be released book Social Intelligence, hammers away at the importance of leaders having superior empathy and social skills. Research shows that workers recall a boss’ negative comments far more often than encouraging words. Many companies routinely look for signs of superior emotional and social intelligence when they hire and promote people to leadership positions. A growing reliance on teams puts a premium on empathy, understanding, and a positively charged environment. Sanders’ research shows that the most successful leaders treat their subordinates with respect and make genuine efforts to be liked. Employees will go the extra mile when they feel inspired by a leader who manages with likeability.
Sanders indicates that if we want to garner support from our associates, earn the loyalty of our employees, lead our followers to a better future, be emotionally and physically healthy, and achieve our life’s dreams—we must be liked. “If you want people to love you, love them,” he concludes.
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About the Author
Chuck Fridsma is a Senior Vice President with the Great Lakes Region of Right Management Consultants. He is the Managing Director of the West Michigan region. A graduate of Calvin College, Chuck holds two post-graduate degrees, one from Michigan State University and one from Western Michigan University.
